


Just Kids

by Kwonjae



Category: Blur (Band), Oasis (Band)
Genre: Bisexuality, Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort maybe?, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Just take it as AU, M/M, Of course they shagged, Open Relationship, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:07:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28980111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kwonjae/pseuds/Kwonjae
Summary: Don't leave me ever, we'll live forever. Because we are just kids.
Relationships: Damon Albarn/Liam Gallagher
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Lonesome Street

Liam caught Damon burning his thigh with a cigarette butt. At first, Liam thought he was drunk and hallucinated before the early hours of the morning until Damon took a cigarette trembly and then pressed the reddish butt against the exposed skin again. Apparently, his jeans were loose enough to be easily rolled up to the thigh, where there has been left more than one round scar. Damon's expression didn't look as painful as Liam had imagined. He just frowned, biting his lower lip tightly, then threw the few remaining cigarettes on the ground. Damon looks exhausted, leaning his head against the wall and closing his eyes.

Few people know that this bar has a back door that leads directly to the street outside. Liam is one of them, but when he opened the door seeing the lead singer just slumped by the door and smoked, he was not surprised, until he seeing exactly what Damon was doing. Damon didn't seem to care when he heard someone coming by, still closing his eyes.

Liam didn't speak and lit the cigarette in his hand before Damon raised his head.

"Well, Hello," Damon saw the man who the media is keen to put their faces on the cover of magazines together these days, "Liam."

The way Damon says his name doesn't sound like Liam usually hears. Either way, there is no hostility and sarcasm, as if he was really just saying hello to a friend he met in a bar.

"Dermot." Liam glanced at the ground and saw not only cigarette butts but a shining needle that Damon had dropped.

"Of course you are high," Liam bent down to see Damon's eyes. "Your pupils are now as big as a fucking pan, twat."

"Don't you sit down?”

"Nah," Liam waved his hand disgustingly. "Maybe you’re sitting on some rat shits and probably some drunkies’ shits now.”

This dirty and dark street was empty except for them.

“Whatever.”

Damon took out another cigarette and touched his pockets but found no lighter, then he fumbled on the ground trying to find one. Liam never thought Damon looked so stupid, especially when he half-closed his eyes covered with messed-up blond hair.

"Got a light?"

Damon looked up at Liam.

Every time Liam recalled this moment he felt that he must have been drunk. He didn't think much, nor did he reach out to touch the lighter in his pocket, but squatted down directly in front of Damon, leaning close to him. The cigarette on Damon’s mouth was lighted by the one burning on Liam’s as he got close enough to Damon’s face. "Thanks." Damon breathed smoke onto the face of the person in front of him.

"What are these shit?" Liam lowered his head to look at the scarlet scars.

“Just because you saw it doesn't mean I have to tell you." Damon seemed to know that he would ask that and almost blurted it out.

"Don't be pretentious you fucking silly."

Yes, Damon is being silly these days. He wants to make himself feel the existence of pain. This feeling is occupying his whole heart while everyone else pretends that this has not happened. What can he do? He just told everyone that he was good, and he also began to pretend that the feeling was fake. Just enjoy the fact: being comfortably numb, insensitive to pain, and no longer to feel. But deep in his heart, he knew that it was impossible to completely ignore it when the pain was clearly there, so he needed a way to remind him, an almost brutal, fast, and effective way.

Damon thought he actually envied Liam, right? He seems to be so strong in his heart that he only cares about himself, which may be why so many people think he is intolerable but at the same time can’t help themselves being hopelessly obsessed with him. Well, he fake cockney cunt, glamorously hypocritical, and the enemy of everyone's working-class hero, the man who just squatted down and lit him a cigarette. So what? Damon told himself he didn't care, what did Liam just say? He told Damon to stop being pretentious. I don't care what the hell you think, Damon thinks so, and wants to press the burning cigarette into his own flesh, again.

Liam reached out and knocked the cigarette over to the ground. Damon's movements became slow due to alcohol and drugs, and the remaining half of the cigarette was snuffed out by Liam before Damon could pick it up.

Damon was about to curse something, but he didn’t expect Liam's next move. The younger man pressed the last cigarette butt on his forearm. The sharp pain instantly made Liam's drunkenness disappeared. Both of them staring at that almost burning wound now.

If Liam doesn’t know anything about Damon’s motives of such kind of stupid thing, then he is lying to himself. They have actually seen each other’s fragile side before. The truth is Liam doesn’t care about showing it to other people. He also doesn't care about the misunderstanding of others at all.

But Damon never seemed to express anger easily, as if he didn't realize how hypocritical his smile was and how those restless non-verbal languages betrayed him. Liam is angry about this. Does he really think others can't tell? Don’t be fucking naive, a madman pretending to have a good temper, Dermot. Liam thought bitterly, but he did not expect this bastard to be caught harming himself in this stupid way on the street. Like a stray animal.

"I don't know why you want this, you crazy cunt."

Liam was still angry. He couldn't tolerate Damon doing stupid things he couldn't imagine. Damon shouldn't be like this. Liam wanted to punch him in the face right now, but he didn’t.

“Come here,” Damon says hoarsely.

He grabbed Liam's hand and pulled him into his own arms. Squatting for too long, Liam’s legs were so numb that his center of gravity was already unstable, so he easily fell onto Damon. Liam didn't say anything about it.

Damon raised Liam's hand. He looked at the brand-new scar in silence for a while and licked it gently. He looked meek and quiet at the moment as if he was expressing guilt in his own way, an extraordinarily erotic way.

The two of them have hooked up more than once. But not once did both of them are sober enough. Either they are both on the edge of unconsciousness by alcohol or snorted one or two white lines. In short, when both of them wake up the next morning, they have enough reasons to justify their behavior last night. It's not about why Damon bit Liam's neck so hard that he left a round blood mark and how Liam left a bruise on Damon's waist that took almost a week to disappear. It's about words, they all say something stupid that they dare not admit.

"I hate you, I hate you." Damon would say when being fucked.

Liam was on him, just making Damon came. He buried his head in the neck of the man who was saying he hated him. Liam pretended not to hear and didn’t stop moving.

"I told myself I didn't want to hate you at all, but I hate you."

Liam continued to fuck him.

"But I can't love you if I don't hate you."

Liam bit Damon hard.

"Do you understand? I don't want to hate you, but, Liam, I hate you."

“C’mon shut up."

Liam violently covered Damon’s mouth. Damon’s inside was warmly squeezing his cock. Liam's other hand unconsciously pinched Damon’s neck when he was about to come. Damon felt that he was almost dying.

"I think, yah, I should hate you but I literally just don't," Liam said later while lying next to Damon.

Damon closed his eyes, looking like he was asleep.

"I have every reason to hate you, you know what I mean."

Damon didn't open his eyes.

"You're just that kind of common arrogant wanker. The kind I hate the most.”

Damon’s breathing gradually became heavy, maybe he really fell asleep, Liam thought.

"But the truth is, unfortunately, I don't hate you. You are a bastard, yes, but I don't hate you, just that simple."

But don't love me either, Damon thought, continuing to pretend he’s asleep.

When the two woke up in the morning, they acted as if they had never talked about it. They would still flirt with each other when sober, but no longer mention neither the love business nor the hate. As if nothing ever happened.

Liam didn't know how Damon was at the moment, but he knew that the moment he crushed his cigarette butt on his hand, all the shit he drank tonight had no effect on him anymore. Liam is sober as fuck now. Especially this stray cat who has been injured is still sticking out his tongue to lick other people's wounds.

This is not enough. Liam took away his hand and replaced it with his lips.


	2. Happiness is a butterfly

Damon was gone when Liam woke up in his bed. The familiar headache caused by the fucking hangover made him not want to think about when Damon left, so he continued to close his eyes and try to remember what happened last night. He remembers the moment he kissed Damon on the street, Damon kissed him back fiercely, and the two held each other tightly in the corner of that silent street. But soon Liam decided that they couldn't continue in this dirty garbage dump, so he dragged Damon up. They must now leave here together. It doesn't matter where they need to go now, but the best thing is to go to Liam's apartment.

Damon seemed to regain some sanity when they could finally lie comfortably in bed. He began to kiss Liam's eyebrows as usual, going all the way down through the eyelashes to the tip of his nose, and when he finally stayed on his lips he acted as if he didn't want to leave. Liam also spread Damon's legs wide as usual, put his fingers in the middle and began to twist inside him. But the scars on Damon's leg today was too harsh to look at, especially since it was caused by the unconscious idiot himself. The more Liam thought about it, the angrier he got. In order to avoid venting this anger on Damon too much, Liam changed his mind and decided to fuck Damon from behind today. They had never tried it before because Damon liked to hold Liam tightly from the front so that he could kiss and bite Liam's neck badly when he felt pain or was about to come.

"Hey, turn around." Liam patted Damon's cheek lightly.

Damon knew what Liam wanted to do, but he hesitated. He opened his mouth trying to say something but finally didn't, just looked at Liam pleadingly.

"Please." Liam lowered his head and kissed Damon's knee. Damon then nodded.

When Damon turned his back to him, Liam felt like he knew why Damon was reluctant at first, and he also realized the fact that they had slept together so many times but never once he noticed Damon’s naked back, which was covered with the same fucking scars as those on his thigh. Yes, those shocking round scars. But these had obviously been left on Damon's back for a while, and someone else, some kind of scumbag did this to Dermot.

”Ignore it and don't ask me either." Damon felt Liam's silence, of course he knew what it was for.

"Just fuck me now". He raised his face buried in the pillow and glanced back at Liam.

Silence in the air. Liam forced himself not to look at the black and purple marks on Damon's back but instead turned his attention to the two slightly sunken back dimples on his back. Liam buried his thumbs in these soft whirlpools, squeezing Damon's waist forcefully and pulled him in his direction, hitting him back in the opposite. The whole room could only hear obscene clashes between the flesh and Damon's low moans. Soon they reached orgasm almost at the same time, Damon couldn't help but lifted his head and arched his waist more, like a cat stretching lazily in the afternoon. Liam went down, the hair on the back of Damon's neck stung his face, but he left a few kisses there. The sweat made the two of them soaked, but no one had the strength to take a bath anymore. Liam flicked Damon's soaked hair on his forehead to one side before, then they fell asleep together.

They haven't seen each other for a long time since then. Liam didn't know why Damon left without saying goodbye. But he still quickly got used to the days of not seeing Damon. After all, they weren't a couple who never got tired of being together every day. What they actually do is nothing more than a hookup. With the passage of time, people are no longer as enthusiastic about the so-called Britpop war as they were at the beginning, and the media gradually stopped putting their faces together when editing magazines. But Liam is still singing with his hands on his back, and Damon is still jumping around on the stage like a lunatic. Music keeps playing, life is still going on, but Liam knows in his heart that their so-called feeling of love for each other is no longer burning like in the past, but is gradually cooling off. Liam could tell that Damon was avoiding him. If he saw Damon, he would definitely ask him why. In fact, they had no chance to meet these days and Liam didn't want to bother to make it deliberately. He wasn't even surprised that when he flipped through the newspaper occasionally, he saw the gossip entertainment column with Damon drunkenly sticking to his face with an attractive blonde girl at a party.

Liam spends more time with women when he doesn't see Damon and occasionally is interested in boys. He didn't know if Damon was the same, or Damon was as interested in other pretty boys with dark hair as Liam. But it all doesn't seem to matter now, after all, Damon is hiding from him, isn't it? Life without Damon is just…life, which is still going on and on. Just like now Liam was planning to go to the supermarket to buy something casual stuff. He rarely had such a good mood to stroll outside, until he met Damon fucking Albarn in the elevator.

They stared at each other of course the moment the elevator doors opened. All the words in Liam's brain that he wanted to say these days started to mess up and he couldn't speak a word. Liam looked at the person in front of him who was also a little stunned, wondering whether to ask the questions he always wanted to ask first or scold him first.

"Liam, how are you?" Damon calmly walked into the elevator and stood beside Liam. He didn't sound embarrassed by meeting someone he ran away from in this cramped iron room. Instead, he sounded perfectly normal, gentle, and polite. This made Liam feel unreasonably mad and insufferable.

"Fuck you Dermot."

"Then you better pray that the elevator malfunction will trap us here."

Just as Damon wanted.


	3. Fun's fun but who needs it

They didn't know what to say when the elevator really stopped in the middle of who knows which floor. Dermot really jinxed it. Liam thought. He turned his head and looked at Damon trying to see from his face what he thought of this absurd scene. Damon just stared at the blinking emergency button without saying a word. Liam watched Damon's shredded hair on his temples and unshaven stubble on his jaw until Damon suddenly turned his head and looked at him.

“What?" Liam was startled.

"Nothing." There was a little smile in Damon's voice, and he shrugged, thinking Liam's overreaction was a bit funny, "I haven't seen you for a long time."

"Of course it's because you fucking hide from me."

"Why do you say that?" He sounded so sincere as if he really didn't know anything, the typical Damon Albarn style which always makes Liam just couldn't help quarreling with him.

"I didn't expect you would give me a good morning kiss and make breakfast or something, but you know that you disappeared like a ghost that time, it looks stupid."

"Uh, you know," Damon lowered his head and started scratching his hair. Liam didn't know if he was guilty or something.

"We all have our own business to be busy." He didn't sound guilty at all.

"Really? Is this the best reason you can think of?”

Damon was silent again, and Liam suddenly began to feel that it didn't make sense to struggle with things that had passed, just as he wouldn't ask about the origin of the scars he saw on Damon's back that night.

"Well, I don't care, who knows what strange thoughts you have every day, you never tell the truth in front of others."

Liam did think so. Damon always politely said the most sarcastic words in response to reporters' harsh questions at the press conference. Liam couldn't understand because he usually only wanted to raise his middle finger and told those idiots to fuck off.

But one thing that is undeniable is that the two of them acted like bastards in the entire exaggerated war, frivolously saying things that can irritate each other on various occasions, and everyone became extremely fanatical so easily. At first, they didn't, but then they realized that those who hated them wanted Liam and Damon to hate each other like that.

"You look good today." Damon's intention to change the subject was too obvious.

"I know, and you fucking love this face don't you?"

But they all know that it is too simplistic to describe the relationship between them by loathing each other.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, of course."

Liam didn’t know what to say next. He realized that most of the time their conversations were either hurting each other or flirting. Maybe they didn’t really open their hearts to each other. They just happened to find that each other was a pretty and attractive enough bastard. They don't even want to seriously talk about the things they mentioned in sex: about why Damon hates him, and about him saying he loves Liam. Liam just thought oh c’mon he must have said this when he was in bed with everyone and chose to avoid thinking about how serious Damon was when he said this.

Liam has to admit that he likes to be with Damon, but he also bet that Damon must feel that this can't go on anymore in the silence after certain joyful sex, but Liam doesn’t think about how to end all this. He didn't want to see Damon's escape as his announcement that this ambiguous relationship was over. It was nothing, it was more like an intermission. Liam guessed.

"Well," Damon said first, "I was just thinking, do you think we should stop?"

"what do you mean?"

"The matter between us."

"So that's why you ran away? Tired of the meaningless and silly little games between us? It's really like your style." Liam didn't know when he had learned to speak like Damon.

"This is not the reason why I left you, or-to escape, whatever word you want." Damon looked a little helpless, "but I did avoid some things these days and didn't aim at you." He paused and looked at Liam's eyes.

"You know, I like to be with you.” Says Damon.

"Then you still don't want to do it anymore? When will you learn to skip a bunch of nonsense bullshitand go straight to the point, I'm really curious." Liam found Damon intolerable at the moment.

"No, I mean, if you still want to, I can, I mean of course we can meet again. Like before, in your apartment."

"Oh of course please, Dai my sweetheart, I can't find anyone else to shag except you, I miss you so much and want you in my house just tonight."

Liam couldn't help becoming sarcastic in an exaggerated tone, ”You know what you really take yourself too seriously, Dermot. If you don't want me then I don't want you. It's that simple. If that's what you want to say these days, then you can fuck off now."

Liam said without hesitation what he thought of at the moment, and at the same time accepted the fact that their weird and distorted relationship has come to an end in the passing of time. That kind of nothing lasts forever cliche is sometimes quite true. Liam hated to admit it.

Damon shook his head. He believed that what Liam said was always true. This is what he wants, isn't it? He successfully used his actions to escape the fact that Liam will eventually leave him one day. If this is really what he wants.

But the truth is that this was never what Liam wanted. He enjoyed the private moments with Damon, and at that moment he felt they could go on like this forever. He never thought what would happen to them after they got tired of each other. It's just like he never thought about why Damon had to say how much he hated him before he said he loved him. Now they all know that Damon is the cunt who said don’t leave me ever and then left by himself.

But Liam won't let anyone who wants to leave stay. Last time Damon left for no reason, so he kept thinking about Damon and wanted to ask why in person. Now he knows everything. So he can leave without reluctance, Liam told himself.

They stopped talking. An uncomfortable silence filled the narrow space. The elevator door sooner opened, Damon smiled and said thank you to the staff and left. Liam forgot what he was about to buy.


End file.
